Wobbly Legs and Back

It was 8:30pm before I got downstairs and worked out my legs and back.  I really did not feel it until I pushed play.  My sister has been going through some stuff and finally made the break she has been planning and it was weighing on my mind.  My parents and in-laws were over for cake and ice cream to celebrate this little beauty:

By the time everyone left and homework was complete it was getting late and I thought of postponing it… but I sucked it up and brought it as though it were 7pm!  I got through it and as I was walking up the stairs my knees were wobbly and grinding… like there was sand under them.  But, this morning I feel perfect… so I am thrilled with my mind over matter win last night.

I like to take pictures a lot because I think that it shows results more than any other measure.  I have avoided the scale because that bitch lies… LIES I tell ya!  So, I will be updating with pictures because that is how I roll :P

I am leaving you with a picture of me with two of my most favourite people in the world, my parents!  My father is always doing something foolish… so in the second picture you are witnessing my mother trying to contain my Dad.  Dad was trying to hide my face with his hat and my Mom was saving me.  My reaction is the way I look every time I am in their presence… pure joy!

Plans for the weekend!  My baby girl has a couple of her good friends over tonight and we are getting dressed up and heading out for a girl's night.  Dinner, dessert and a little art therapy.  We will be coming home for movies (I will be kicking out some Kenpo) and then bed for me.  Saturday morning I am heading to the wharf for 5am because I will be fishing with those two great people in the photos above.  Then I will be doing my Chest and Back routine and maybe do a Plyo workout (depending on my body's response) to do a little catch up.  Then Sunday I am doing either Plyo or, I am hoping to be doing Shoulders and Arms to be closer to my original schedule.  Again, I will be listening to my body and not planning to do more that my body allows.

Stay tuned :D  Have a great weekend everyone!  We shall chat Monday!

Subbed out Yoga X for SUCCESS

SO… Tuesday night was my rest day for the week considering it was Kryptonite day and I was exhausted and just didn't have enough fuel to get through my workout.  I didn't beat myself up … just used it as my rest day.

Last night I was ready for bed at 6pm … was so sluggish and drained.  I wasn't sure how I was going to get through my workout; however, somehow I found the strength to get dressed and go downstairs to push play and break out a good sweat with Cardio X.  I felt revived when it was all done and went to bed and killed an 8 hour sleep session… was just about a perfect day!

Before

After

Tonight is Legs and Back and try and avoid BIRTHDAY cake over consumption … it is my little girl's 13th birthday today and YES, there will be cake because she is worth celebrating!!

Make it a great day everyone and make it count!

4/90 Yoga ... Not Feeling the Namaste

Oh Emm Gee I hate Yoga!

I want to like yoga... I really do but I dread it.

I am flexible.

My balance is not horrible.

This should be easy enough but it is just painful.

I am not a zen person... so I should probably benefit greatly from yoga.

I have crushed the P90x program three times... full rounds and never did learn to like it.

I tried to have an open mind this morning... still hate it.

SIGH

I will keep it in the lineup for the first phase but may choose to sub it out in phases 2 and 3.  I just hate feeling like I wasted my time.  Please don't argue with me yoga lovers... I am trying here.

Anyway, so that is what happened today on the P90x front.  Tomorrow is Legs and Back and I think that I am going to do doubles completing my Kenpo a day early since I am in school all weekend.  My legs will be H-U-R-T-I-N-G but then I can focus on school :)

Diet still in check!

Feeling motivated by the schedule and not letting my hatred of yoga dim my light.

Make it a great day and make it count!

3/90 Shoulders and Arms ... With Trepidation

Well, good morning!  Hope you all had a great day yesterday!

Mine was marvellous :)  Diet on point, exercise on point and one of my best friends called me GORGEOUS before 8am.  That is the way to start the day!

Enough about yesterday ... let's talk about today's session.

Shoulders and Arms was on the menu and I am not going to lie, I was concerned.  I hate talking about my aliments but this blog is an honest one and I don't hide from them here.  I have had a serious flare-up in my shoulder for the past six months.  YES, 6 months.  I have had 2 shots of Cortizone in the site and still in a lot of pain.  It even hurts to get my coffee from the Tim Horton's drive through in the morning, sometimes requiring both arms!  (Yup, I am a Canadian who has her Tim's daily)

So, naturally, I modified today ... using much lighter weights than I am used to.  I did do every rep for every exercise so I am pleased but there were moments that I considered stopping.  I pushed through and was dripping wet again today.  The humidity and the pain made for a great calorie burn :P  Actually the pain was intense at the beginning but as I worked the joint it felt better and now it is feeling good.  No pain meds used :)

I should also mention that I did not have difficulty waking up this morning... actually woke up just before the alarm but my body still tried to convince me to stay put.  I know that the first month is the hardest.  I will have to coach myself out of bed every damn day ... and you can bet that I am going to!

On another note, I want to talk about my home gym.  When my husband and I built our house six years ago we decided that we would build a space for a gym in our home.  We invested a lot of money but it was well worth it because I use it, a lot!  The problem with the gym is that it gets so warm because it is in our living space and we did not create a different zone in that room (for the radiant heat).  So, it has been discussed for the past two years (more like me trying to convince my husband) that we should redo our garage and make that space into our gym.  Well, after two years of talking the carpenter arrived this morning to get started!   I will take pics when it is done ... I am SO EXCITED about it.  There will be more space and cooler space... yeah me!

Ok, that is all for today... have yourselves a great day and make it count!

Brazilian - Take Two

Good morning everyone!

So, just as I said in this previous post, I have decided to give the Brazilian a second try and will continue until I have completed four waxings to see if it gets better.  Yesterday marked three weeks post primary torture session and it was time to endure it again.

I have a new aesthetician because the first time I did it I was on vacation in a different province.  I had discovered the local torturer through my good friend and I made the appointment.  I arrive five minutes early thinking that I would have time to meditate while I waited but she was waiting for me and I didn't have time to relax.  She escorted me through the hall and into her chambers.  To the right of the door was a curtained off segment and I was instructed to go on in and get undressed.  To my astonishment there were no baby wipes!!  OMG, I was not prepared this time… I went straight after sweating in my office chair all day.  I begin to panic and I know that I must confess that I thought she would have that option.  She looks at me and with a questioning look she tells me that I could go to the bathroom just down the hall.  I thank her and quickly escape the curtained area.

I get in the bathroom and my crazy brain starts working in overtime.  OMG, now she thinks that I am a dirty person.  Perhaps she thinks that I didn't shower this morning… I DID BUT… it is 3:00 in the PM.  Everyone would need to freshen up at that hour, no?!  I take a few deep breaths and clean up, wash my hands and I am feeling much more prepared.

I enter the room a little red-cheeked and take off my clothes and place myself on her table.  Now, this lady's table is really comfortable.  I look around and I am really impressed with this salon.  It feels pleasant and I begin to relax.  She asks me when I last had my treatment and I tell her that it is my second time and that the first time I did not get the results that I expected.  It left me with red blotchy spots and pimple like red spots.  I have developed a spotted vajayjay… not exactly an attractive look.  I suspect that perhaps I had a reaction to the wax?  She tells me that it is ingrown hairs o.O  NICE!  I have scared my pubs so much that they are growing in backwards now!!

She is gentle and speaks about caring for my vajayjay post waxing and I am feeling at ease.  She also declares that I am a natural blonde and I kinda snicker thinking that my hair stylist did a great job that she thinks that my hair is natural.  I respond that I was in my youth, with a smile and she explained that it is why I am sensitive.  She completed the front part and tells me to turn over.  Remember when I explained what happened the first time well, THAT was pleasant compared to what this lady made me do!  She had me on all fours, head on the bed and asked to "borrow" my hand to that I could spread my own cheeks!!  OMG  As I laid there I was thinking that this gives a whole new meaning to downward dog!  WOuldn't Tony Horton be proud of this yoga position!  Then I thought that it needed to have it's own name and went with "bad-dog" … so that is what my internal monologue was this round.

After that she had me lay back on my back and gave me a cold cloth to hold on my who-ha and I am sure that there was steam that was coming from it!  What relief though!!

So, the second waxing was a bit better yet far from pleasant.  It left me as red and blotchy as the first time and bleeding!  Maybe the bleeding was the result of her coming at me with tweezers!  I don't think that it could get worse than that!  I laid in bed last night and wondered if this was going to be worth it… then I patted it and thought, "yup, I think that it may!"  Someday I will not have anything more to say about it … I hope that someday it becomes a joy rather than misery.

How was your Wednesday?  Did you do anything exciting?

Facing Forty with a red-spotted Vajayjay

Laughing is Good for the Spirit!

Good morning World!

I had such a great night last night!  A night with friends, wine, food and LAUGHTER.  There is almost nothing that makes me feel better than belting out my big laugh, letting my guard down and just enjoying a moment among the people I cherish.

As I approach my birthday and this last year in my thirties I am committing to taking more time with my friends.  Making time for the girls.  Taking time to do the things that we women love and laughing is among the top three of my list of favourite things to do.  So, in an effort to make this vision a reality I am starting a monthly ladies night.  It will be a gathering of women to share and support one another.  I will host the first of these nights and each night will have a theme.  Together my lady friends and I will decide on the following theme but one thing can be certain, all theme nights will be lady-related.  I am thinking about having a Passion party because that should be a GREAT way to kick things off :D

Do you all schedule time with your friends?  Does it help?  Do you do theme nights or just roll with it? Let me know… I wanna hear from you!

Facing Forty Inspired

Entering Manopause

Good morning everyone!

This weekend I found myself camping with my son and husband while the daughters ditched us and refused to partake in our weekend of over-drinking, over-socializing and general lack of parenting.  I can't understand why, we have some deep family discussions around the campfire that I am sure they will remember for a long time.

In any case, our weekend of three was like most camping weekends when we pull the oversized (like everything in our lives really) fifth wheel to the bike park that is two hours from our home.  We generally take all of 15 minutes to get set up (we have become pros) and don't even jeopardize our marriage anymore while I try guiding my husband into a campsite that is framed with large trees.  This weekend's setup was uneventful and ended in a high five between spouses and quickly followed by the filling of two red solo cups while humming the song, "red solo cup, I fill you up… let's have a party".

The whiskey was flowing and the energy was perfect for a night of fun.  We head out around the campsite on foot with the red solo cups in our hand pausing occasionally for a swig of the nectar of the gods that is sloshing around in our receptacle of choice.  We scope out our neighbours and it takes our son less than the length of the walk to have a following of new "friends".  They escape to the park and my husband and I go back to the trailer and start the fire, for tonight we drink and relax.  With the fire ablaze, the lighted palm tree and the string of LED lights glowing (YUP, just call us weekend white trailer trash) and the cooler filled with icy beverages the evening was off to a perfect start.  That is until my husband decides to blast his tunes over the outdoor speakers and I realize that what Sandra Tsing Loh describes in her glorious book (which I am 1/2 through reading), THE MADWOMAN IN THE VOLVO My Year of Raging Hormones, That is a perfect description of my husband and I declare to him that he is in MANOPAUSE.  (If you haven't read this book it is a must-read according to yours truly.  I will do a full review once I complete it)

Sandra has dedicated three pages of her book to manopause, a man's experience with their own menopause, and could only come up with two known symptoms:

1 - Obsessive you-tubing of old college rock bands **
2 - Declaring their LOVE of old songs they hear **

** This is as I recall it.  Certainly paraphrased and in truth my short term memory is so bad that I almost hate publishing this entry wondering how far off I was from the actual written work of Ms. Tsing Loh. **

I sit back in my favourite lawn chair, with my favourite drink in my favourite cup listening to Nirvana once again.  I look over at my husband who has his head back, eyes closed and singing like he is Kurt Cobain himself.  I realize that he too might be going through Manopause albeit pre-manopause because we are far too young to be "mid-life" :P

However, I must add to the list that Sandra began because my husband has also taken to the following:

3- Reading the likes of Christopher Hitchens, Sam Harris, George Orwell and Richard Dawkins.

When we were children (since we have been together since children) all he would read was magazines or Stephen King.  Never would he consider reading 1984 or Animal Farm from cover to cover.  So where did this man come from all of a sudden?

4- Questioning everything that makes him complete.

Suddenly my husband of 16 years (boyfriend of 24 years) has began to question his essence.  What does he believe?  What makes the universe tick?  What should we be teaching our children?  This has been hard for me as a Christian but the more we research and study together the more I begin to see why he is questioning; however, why now?  Could it be another part of manopause?

As I sat there watching my husband float back into the days of our youth I realized that although men, in general or at least the men in my life, are more logical and less emotional than females (or at least those in my life which includes me) that they themselves must also be experiencing changes.  Imagine that!!  No hot flashes, no saggy boobs, no erratical emotional spasms but still some changes that make you wonder how they get off so lucky.  Reminiscing and wanting to re-experience youth… that is what they get??  (insert some rolly-eyed emoticon here)

OK, rant over!  Are you married?  Is he going through manopause?  What are your experiences with it and can you add to our list?  Leave me a comment and let me know :D

Facing Forty with a husband entering Manopause  

Why am I so Annoyed?

Good morning everyone!

This morning, like every other, I wake up like I go to bed; feeling annoyed and well, tired.  Why is it that everything and everyone seems irked or unsatisfied with me and I am annoyed at them?  What I used to let roll off my back seems to be causing a great deal of stress in my life.  I piss my family off at least once a day, my children seem to be talking back more (or perhaps my awareness has just been heightened), even my Mom got upset with me two days ago for not serving dinner on time and being insensitive to their need to leave my home at a certain time (and I am still hanging on to her dismay).  Is it just me or does one become the single most disappointing female in the world when you reach your mid-thirties?  I just can not seem to be able to please anyone; however, everything that I do seems to provoke a rise out of everyone.  

Here is a common scenario in my home these days:

(me): I have booked a day for us at the spa sweetie so you and I can have some mother-daughter time and be pampered a bit.

(daughter2): Well Mom, what time is it going to be at?

(me) 1:30 for me and you are at 1:45

(daughter2):  What do you want me to do for the 15 minutes before my treatment?  Is there going to be internet?  Can I take the iPad?  Is there internet?  Will you be done at the same time as me?  Is there internet?

(me): Seriously?  What are you going to do?  Why don't you choose one of your many electronic devices and bring it along or, better yet, a magazine?  Why do you need internet with all the movies/music and games you have on that iPad?  Just bring something that is going to keep you busy and it is time to relax so may I suggest the book I just bought you or a magazine and leave the electronics at home.

(daughter2): Well, how long do I have to wait after?  Do I have to wait there?  Will there be other people there?

(me): OMG!  What is wrong with this picture?  I have treated YOU to a pedicure and all you can think of is if you may have to share a waiting room with someone WITHOUT the use of internet?  Can you not appreciate the fact that we are doing this together?  Can you not go 2 hours without the internet?  SERIOUSLY

(daughter2): ALRIGHT!  I was JUST asking!

Why does a simple and thoughtful moment have to turn into an argument?  I never had the opportunity to do any of those things with my Mom when I was young and if she took me to the grocery store with her I would never have even considered asking her what time we planned on being home and how might I be able to waste time while waiting for her.  I would have went and just pretended to enjoy it and in doing so I always seemed to find enjoyment.  So, my question is… is there something wrong with me or do I have a right to be angry?

The truth is, I hate being angry and annoyed all the time.  I just want to be happy again or was it just being oblivious… whatever it was, I want it back!!

Facing forty annoyed!!

Where to start?

Good afternoon everyone in the blogsphere.  My intentions with this blog is to anonymously document the realities of this nearly forty year old woman and my trials and tribulations.  I can sometimes be funny (by my measure), sometimes inappropriate (ok, often inappropriate) and ALWAYS truthful.  I will walk you though my journey as I face the milestone of turning 40 in August of 2015 and I won't even mind that you all are laughing at my expense, actually take a moment and tell me about it… I'd love to know that you are reading.

So, why the decision to write the blog anyway?

It happened today as my girlfriends and I were enjoying a liquid lunch (which is beginning to happen more and more) and I was sharing my personal experience of losing my Brazilian-waxing virginity this past week.  They were laughing and told me that I could write a column with all the crazy things that I have done this past year and continue to do and THAT is where the inception of a blog began and then Chick Fighting Forty was born!  I am not sure that I will tell them about the blog… not unless I don't get readers based on interest and merit.  That is when I may resolve to sending out the link to all my friends just so I know that SOMEONE is reading.  Please don't make me do that because they have heard most of my stories already and really I am intending them for YOU not those who know me.  Besides, as I mentioned earlier, this is supposed to be an anonymous blog.

Thanks for reading and I hope to keep you coming back to read often.

Keep Fighting with grace,

CFF